Bluntly: I have had an IUD in since Beau was 6 weeks old. At the 6 week mark after giving birth the thought of a 3rd child is worse than adding a hole in your head. After the baby is roughly about 5 months maybe 6, you can actually look at a family with more than two kids and think that the parents are not completely insane. Back to the IUD - weird that I had a pregnancy "scare" back in January. I mean weird because I would be in that .5% that got pregnant wearing a device that is practically full-proof. But still, I actually found myself at peace that if I were pregnant that I would be ok with it. Of course, it was just a scare but it made me think. Nuts! That meant that all the extra weight I gained was not pregnancy weight and now I have to lose it. Crap. I watch Courtney Cox on her show Cougar Town and get inspired that I too can be smokin' hot if I just applied all this energy I had into myself. You know - yoga, running, facials, mani/pedis, massages, hair colored/cut, waxing, what else? I mean is it weird to wish I could be smokin' hot at my age and being a mom of two? I haven't felt hot since I was 25 years old. Now with the resources and the wisdom, I think I can actually look and feel better than I did as a 25 year old. I am confident that it is possible. Being 40 years old has nothing to do with why I'm where I am these days. I discussed this whole concept with my hot (hee, hee!) husband during our downtown getaway at the W two weekends ago and he was of course on board with whatever it takes for me to get to where I want to be. So then I asked him if he was done having kids. Poor guy felt trapped - whoa, where did that come from? He answered me with a question are you? I said yes and the relief was clear.
All was great with my decision to move forward and get to smokin' status. This week at ECFE a mom announces that she is pregnant with her 3rd child and man, everything I felt just went out the window. Selfishly I want to move on and take care of myself. But enviously, I want to have another baby. Here's my theory: Moms of one child feel the struggles of parenthood more because they have nothing to compare it to (besides the horror stories of other families). Moms with 2 kids realize after awhile that their first crack at parenthood should have been a breeze and they would kill to have a do-over. Moms with 3 kids are confident - they've been there and done that. And moms with 4+ kids are just plain showing off (ha! ha! totally joking).
So I'm struggling internally with the question: Should I be a smokin' 40 year old mom of 2 or be a confident mom who can handle 3?
2 comments:
Exciting question you've posed. Granted, it's easy to say you want more when you have one, but I've always wanted to have 4. Florian has compromised on 3. I'm hoping for twins on the third try ;) . Clearly, I'm biased. I say one more :) .
OMG! so unexpected but so exciting!
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