Caught Blubbering

Ok, so Bella and I finished reading Charlotte's Web tonight and I actually sobbed. This was not the first time I read this book. In fact, it's not Bella's first time hearing it - we read it when she was 9 months old and I can bet money we will read it again and again. I cried because I finally got the true meaning of the story. Maybe it hit me hard because I was fresh off the women-love-fest at Anne's. I just blubbered in front of Bella. To make matters even more embarrassing, George walked in to say good night to Bella and caught me wiping away my tears and blowing my nose. I'm a dork!

Drunk off Women Vibes

The Mama Blessing at Anne's house was - how can I say it? - amazing! Sarah began the ceremony in her usual fashion of that warm love, beauty and wisdom. I mean, really, can we expect anything less? The gal just lives and breathes yumminess! Rachel then took the reigns and just blew me over with her wonderful insight. I guess I was just rocked by finding out how spiritual she was because I didn't know she was such a goddess of womanhood! I was pleasantly surprised with her theme of "being grounded and flying high" - it hit the nail on the head. The love in that room was just electric. Yes, we were there for Anne but I guess I found myself feeling like this event couldn't have come at a better time in my own life. I felt honored that I was there to celebrate this special time in her life and I felt a bit guilty that I was benefitting from that opportunity - like I was getting drunk off all the women vibes. I wrote down all the properties of the stone/gem I chose for Anne's necklace because I'm anal and didn't want to forget - so I read my thoughts to her from my card. But what I didn't say and wished that I had said was this:

"If it were not for Anne, I would not have come to Blooma. She led me there and shared with me her birth story and opened her heart to me. Thank God for that. Truly. Without Blooma, I would have gone down a path that I shudder to think about when I was pregnant with Beau. Without Anne, I wouldn't have met some of the closest friends I've had in my life. Without Anne, I would be a different mother, a different friend, a different daughter. She was the first friend I called as soon as Beau was born. She means the world to me."

We can't always see the big picture of why tragic things happen in our lives. I can't help but wonder if the births we experienced before Blooma were meant to bring us together.

For those of you that could not make it - we truly missed you. The sweet emotions in that beautiful room, candles aglow, were just purposeful and reaffirming. I got home and wanted to write and keep the "drunkiness" going by re-playing the evenings events. Instead, I went to bed with a smile knowing that we will again come together for a night of great friendship. Much love to the women in our lives!

P.S. - In case you've been following along with the only other blogs on this site: my goddess card I chose last night was Fertility.

Bling vs. Identity

Still bothered by a piece I saw on 20/20 a couple of weeks ago about these teenage kids who would break into young stars homes to rip off their jewelry and clothes. These kids wanted to BE these starlets and thought these items would give them identity. Sad.

So why am I bothered? I guess because again, as a mama, we try to do all the right things to raise our kids with morals, values etc. Even at a young age we teach them to share, recycle, count our blessings etc. These teenagers obviously got caught in the trap of low self esteem. I decided to make it my mission to start teaching my kiddos that they are valued for who they are and not what they wear.

Screeech! What a hypocrite! When I see these fabulous purses and shoes I say to myself: "Come to Mama. I want the finer things in life." Gals, I'm caught in a weird spot. Growing up, I was middle class with a mother who acted as if we were on well-fare which was weird because we drove around in a Mercedes. Anyway, fast forward to college where I went to school with the upper class - son of Nordstroms, grandsons of Al Capone and George Burns. You get the picture - MONEY. Still designer items never phased me. Post-college I hit the workforce and made little to no money for a couple of years. Then BAM! Great income equals great shoes, purses, outfits. Funny how when I made $15K a year I managed just fine but then making $50K and being so young I was in debt. So I had to fish myself out of debt. In my late 20's I hit the motherload and made crazy money. Aah, that was the life - living in Chi-Town and just loving The Mile. Of course, I was way more responsible. Fast forward to now. I'm a well-taken care of mom and I want the finer things in life. I want my kids to have these designer things. At this age, I am the one in control of what goes in the shopping bag. So I feel a huge Catch 22. I struggle with being responsible for my kids' self-worth; their identity.

And then it all comes back to perspective when I drive by 50th and Arden in Edina and see that it can all be gone in minutes.